Friday, October 31, 2014

Halloween Dealie

Satan: So, if candy wasn't the motivating factor, Grim, what made you think I would enjoy this Halloween dealie?
Grim Reaper: Well, I just keep hearing on TV about groups who condemn it as a day in which you're worshipped.
Satan: Really? I haven't been getting any presents or anything.
Grim Reaper: Yeah, I know, That's why I figured we'd come up here.
Satan: Well, let's see if they are right.
- "Candy for All, Justice for None" in Hector Plasm: Totentatz
by Benito Cereno and Nate Bellegarde

In this fun little story, the Grim Reaper hears about all the claims that Halloween is an evil day filled with devil worship.  This, however, was unknown to the devil himself, Satan (for he has not been receiving any presents on this day), so he decides to go check it out.  Plus, there's free candy.

The rest of the story involves Satan approaching costume clad children and proposes they all go make sacrifices or head to the woods to form a coven.  The kids, however, just want candy and think this weird dude is trying to abduct them and touch their swimsuit areas.  To Satan's dismay, no one is worshipping him, but he does receive many kicks to his own swimsuit area from vigilant children aware of stranger danger.

So, if you're fanatical about fear mongering the supposed evils of Halloween, you might not like this story.  But, if you're amused by the thought of Satan being comically attacked by children who think he's a pervert, you will probably enjoy this very much.  I'm not sure how much those two audiences overlap.

Bonus points for the kid in the Master Shake costume in the background.

So, have a happy and safe Halloween.  Or Harvest Party.  Or whatever "family friendly" alternative you may attend.  I still don't understand why the "religious" alternative to Halloween isn't a Reformation Party.

Yeah, I would totally attend a Reformation Party.  With zombies.  And a sexy Luther.

Idris Elba.


But that might be just me.

No comments:

Post a Comment