Ever get the feeling
Evangelical churches might as well have signs posted out front that
read “Introverts need not apply”?
I know that sounds
counter-intuitive. Evangelicals are all about the, you know,
evangelism. They spread the Gospel. They enact the Great
Commission. It is kind of their thing.
But must it be an
extroverts-only church? Can not introverts, those quiet ones, also
spread the Good News without feeling completely out of place?
Now, now, it's good
to get out of your comfort zone and witness to random people,
embarking on mission trips and retreats. But it's funny that the
people advocating such ventures are the ones comfortable stirring up
conversation with new people. Sitting down, shutting up, and
listening to someone else for a while might be way out of their
comfort zones.
This might not seem
like a big deal to some. “Just be more outgoing,” they say.
“It's easy.” But it's not always easy, especially, for some
reason, in church settings. Why should trying to serve God go
against all my inclinations and tendencies? Can I not serve God in a
way that appeals to my strengths? I honestly used to think that I
was defective as a Christian and even as a person. A youth pastor
once even called me anti-social. That did wonders for the
self-esteem and confidence of my already significantly awkward
teenage years.
If I am supposed to
be so gung-ho about being outgoing for Christ, why did God create me
with a personality contrary to that? Did God make a mistake? Did
God create me wrong?
Or is the
streamlined, propositional way of modern Christian life at fault?
What if, and I know this is crazy, what if there is more than one way
to serve God? What if there is more than one way to preach the
Gospel? What if there is more than one way to worship?
I do honestly enjoy
upbeat, enthusiastic worship. But just because I'm not jumping up
and down with my hands in the air doesn't mean I’m not engaged in a
worshipful experience. Perhaps your insistence that I need to take
my hands out of my pockets and lift them to the sky has actually
disrupted a tender moment between me and the Divine found in a minute
of personal solitude in the midst of exuberant music, strobe lights,
and, for some bewildering reason, bloody fog machines.
As John Reuben so
eloquently opined, “Do not tell me what I can and cannot do when I
rock.”
So maybe instead of
striving to be a charming, silver-tongued cult of personality,
remaining hunched over this keyboard typing away about comic books
(of all things) is a perfectly valid expression of faith and
implementation of the Great Commission.
But Mitch, the
voices still say, you still must step out of your comfort zone! Bro,
I reply, have you not been reading anything I write? It's all out of
my comfort zone. What is more uncomfortable than constantly doubting
my own beliefs?
But how does doubt
and comic books make converts? How does any of this save people and
get them to say the “sinner's prayer?” I don't really have any
interest in doing that. Scandalous! I am much more interested in
simply having a dialogue without trying to “win” anything.
But Mitch! We must
lead them to Christ! For Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
Sure. But, remember, that's Jesus and not your particular brand of
Christianity or your particular type of evangelism. And as for that
“sinner's prayer,” well, let's just say I'm of the mind that
salvation is not attained by reciting some magic spell. I believe
it's all far more nuanced than that, which makes it far less easy to
strike another notch in your “souls saved” belt. I'm not saying
extroversion in evangelism is bad, I'm saying it has its place, as
does introversion, and we need to do better accepting and
accommodating both.
Does this all sound
cynical to you? Is it full of spite and sarcasm to your ears? If
so, then I do apologize. To me, this is a writing of hope, both for
me and for any other quiet, reserved, introverts out there. It took
me a long time to realize that I am not a bad Christian simply
because I score INTP on the Myers-Briggs test. There are plenty of
other valid reasons for why I'm a bad Christian, but it's not because
of my introversion.
After all, God
created me this way for a reason, right? Maybe that reason is
writing about comic books.
Is that so wrong?
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